Op/Ed: The Problem with Op/Eds


Not gonna lie, I’m not a fan of the op/ed. I have nothing against editorials. It’s the op half of the equation that bothers me.

This is problematic because I now have a blog.

Why am I apprehensive about sharing opinions online?

  1. While it hasn’t happened yet, I live in fear of getting into an argument on Twitter or a comments thread. Don’t get me wrong, I thrive on conflict. Can’t get enough of it. Love the stuff. I’m never happier than when I get to blare my horn at another driver or tell a film school grad that Gone Girl is a comedy (yo, JM, what up, playa?). But I only like conflict when it amuses me or something is being achieved. There are no known accounts of anyone achieving anything from arguing online. It just doesn’t happen.
  2. If an op/ed isn’t getting you into an argument, chances are you’re either screaming into the void or shouting in an echo chamber. Also: pointless.
  3. I’ve never been comfortable with the phrase “in my opinion.” It confuses and unnerves me. I’ve always interpreted it as shorthand for “I can’t prove what I’m about to say, but I’m going to say it anyway and hope for the best.” It’s all so tentative and vague and unattractive. Not as unattractive as saying dumb stuff with resolute certainty, but it’s up there.
  4. I’m sure it’s nice for some people to share their thoughts with likeminded individuals, but I’m more interested in using the Internet to find out which optometrists in and around the Beverly Hills area can customize Ray-Bans. And in my experience a rogue opinion can be the ruination of a pair of red lens sunglasses.

So why did I create this blog? Again, not gonna lie: It’s mostly here for SEO purposes—but then, what on the Internet isn’t? I recently gave man-birth to two bouncing baby books and without some light PR, those bad boys aren’t going to sell themselves.

I’ve spent a long time thinking about how to fill this space without tumbling down the path of hypocrisy or compromising my “personality.” Months. For a while it looked like a solution would never present itself. But then, last night, as I sat in the dark with a Scotch in one hand, staring into middle distance, I remembered something I once said to a girl in The Otheroom that inspired her to reply, “I really want to slap you.” And with that, I had an epiphany.

What did I say to the girl in The Otheroom?

“I don’t have opinions, I have facts.”

And that’s how I know Gone Girl is a comedy.

Welcome to PashaAdam.com.